Dominant Thoughts

 On a few social media sites lately, I have seen questions come up about safe-words.   I honestly wish I didn't need to address this subject.  It would be great if anyone practicing kink did so with a full dedication to safety and consent.  Unfortunately, from some of the toxic stuff I have seen online, it seems clear that this is not the case.   On Twitter, on Reddit and on TikTok, It feels like there are more people with questions and concerns about safe-words, if they need them, when they should be used, when they should be honored.    I can answer all of that very quickly before we go on.  Yes, you need a safe-word, You should use them whenever you feel the need to, Your partner damn well better honor them!   Now that I have clearly stated my position on the subject, there are a few things I have seen come up and I would like to address each of them.   Safe words are for submissives WRONG! In a D/s relationship, t...

I was browsing a popular social media site and someone asked about scene-planning.  My answer got verbose, so I decided to make it a blog entry and link it for my reply.  I come from a theatre background, so, as a Dominant, I think of myself as the director and a session, is like a play.  I tend to plan sessions out broken into "Acts" each act is mentally outlined with a general idea of what I want to accomplish in that act before moving to the next.  This helps with pacing so that each act builds on the last so that the finale is the end result of everything that came before.  How Long?  A good scene does not always have to be a long scene, but it helps.  What kind of time do you have to work with where you will not be interrupted or walked in on?  Do you have the place to yourselves, or is noise going to be an issue?   What is owed.  When I begin planning for a session, I start by looking at what is owed.    As part of o...

  (Note: I include the following in the forward for any story I publish) Writing erotic of fantasy can be challenging.  Especially when you dip into the "Taboo" You always worry that people will take your words the wrong way, or fail to understand the difference between a fantasy and a reality.  Outside of writing fiction, I try to advocate for safe, sane and consensual kink as much as we can.  Most of what I write in fiction would not qualify as healthy dynamics.  These stories are absolute fantasy, the kind of thing you might imagine in a role play.    Sometimes it can be fun for a couple to imagine themselves in a situation like the ones depicted in these stories, but when they do, they should always recognize that it is in the act of play.    A healthy relationship is a relationship where the humanity and value of every person is respected.   Too often, I have heard horror stories from people new to kink being taken advantag...