Kink Frenzy
My wife and I were married for 12 years before we got into a Dominant/submissive BDSM dynamic. NEITHER of us had experience so we stumbled along the way. Especially with excessive enthusiasm in the beginning. One of the early pitfalls you can fall into as you explore kink is frenzy.
I have seen it called "sub frenzy" but it can happen to Dominants too.
In Frenzy, your enthusiasm for this newly discovered thing seems to take over. Caution, reason, and context can too easily take a back seat as you endeavor to try everything, pushing boundaries, and stretching your own limits.
Its important you try and recognize the difference in yourself between being enthusiastic and being in frenzy.
When my good girl and I started in kink, we went all in, with full Master/slave protocol and con
tracts. We had not done our research beyond watching 50 shades and some porn.
As you can imagine, trying to go from vanilla into a 24/7 TPE unresearched dynamic didn’t take long to blow up on us.
The truth is, long term 24/7 Total Power Exchanges are very rare. They are rare because they are hard to maintain. The sub is quickly worn down by the constant compromise and protocol, it stops being "fun" and the Dominant can become fatigued by suddenly having to make decisions for both members of the relationship. It's also very hard to maintain that TPE without outing yourself to the world. This can be a real problem when you are parents raising their kids in the suburbs.
We quickly determined that we had to dial back fast! It took some deep conversation, research and consistent check-ins to modify that initial frenzied experiment into the functional dynamic that we now share today.
If you are just starting and some how found this blog, take care. Research before you try anything, There are some good books and blogs out there that are not erotic fantasy.
Learn what RACK and SSC mean.
Please take the time to think and talk about your last session before the next one.
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